Dear Wild Sister
2020. What a ride it’s been, eh? Whodathunk a year ago that this is where we’d be sitting now? Going into 2020 with all the enthusiasm of New Year New Decade, the Roarin’ 20’s reboot, then March came in like a lion bringing its pride of pandemia. I don’t think any of us expected the past year to be what it is/was but how was it, really, for you?
Right here, right now, in this moment, I am firmly in the present; my present. The past has passed and the future is not yet within reach. I feel not dissimilar to Dickens’ Scrooge where 2020’s role is more Gift than Ghost. So far this Gift has shown me my past in full technicolour as it has been unravelled and dissected over the course of the past 9 months. Currently we are immersed in the present; I have surrendered to living each moment as it is, slow and deliberate (partially aided by the fact my iphone gave up the ghost wholesale and I have no distractions to hand, it’s glorious – I am not getting my new phone until Christmas so enjoying my wee holiday). I hope the Gift of the Present stays at least until Hogmanay because I am not ready yet to meet the Future. I cannot see 2021 at all, I have no expectations for it nor have I made any plans and can’t even begin to think of what lies on the other side of The Bells.
For a great many people, 2020 has been a year of grief and loss both emotionally and financially. Every area of our lives has been impacted with personal freedoms and liberties prohibited, work and home life disrupted, hugs became contraband, lest we forget the epic Battle of the Bog Roll!
The social anxiety and worries that have affected many people have not impacted me from a place of fear but more anger; I get seriously pissed off with some folk’s sense of entitlement and selfish disregard for the real concerns of others or the potential impact of their actions. The loneliness that has plagued swathes of the population has been something I too have danced with during this year. The crushing loneliness I experience in the Spring eased as time marched on and as I healed some wounds I found that embracing the imposed social and physical distancing aka living like hermits, is something I actually rather enjoyed!!! However, it is horrendous for those who are of a different disposition.
The veneer of modern humanity has been eroded and what lies beneath is now exposed in its rawest and truest from, clear as day. What is it you see and feel when you step back and look at the people around you – immediate household and family, your community, country, planet?
Yes, this year has brought devastation to millions of people and continues to do so (we’re not out of it yet) but as with everything in nature, balance must be maintained and so for every action there is a reaction, for every up there is a down, for every night there is a day, or as Professor Dumbledore says :
The purpose of this post is to acknowledge and celebrate the gifts, no matter how small, you have received from your time in 2020. What life altering experiences have you had that you perhaps wouldn’t have, had it not been 2020? What pockets of pleasure have you delighted in? What changes have you finally made? What have you let go of and replaced with a feeling of ease and calm. What has made you laugh? Where are you now finding gratitude or appreciation? What surprises do you cherish? Most often its the wee gestures and seemingly insignificant moments that elicit the most joy, swelling heart and treasured memories.
My 2020 Gifts
- I am beyond grateful that I have not lost anyone to the virus (or any other reason) this year. In a strange turn of fate, this year is the first in many that my funeral frock has not had an airing, and am hoping that continues. My deepest condolences to those of you who sadly have grieved the passing of a loved one.
- Witnessing the deepening and evolving relationships in our home as we have spent sooooo much time together. My son has really grown up this year and is a funny, caring and clever wee man, although not so much of the wee any more, being as he’s now taller than his Gran and wears the same size of shoes as me!!!!
- Finally being able to live the slow, simple life I have craved for more years than I can remember. Having the time and space to “tend the hearth” and in tune with the seasons is a blessing of the utmost contentment.
- Observing and experiencing the changing seasons in a focussed and deliberate way, not forced or catching snippets and glimpses along the way. Noticing too that the seasons themselves are realigning to the old folk calendar weather; Summer in May, Autumn in August and both snow (although only light, but it was still snow!!) and sub zero temperatures in December. Yay!
- Rediscovered the integrity of my journey/path/truth. Stripped back bare without the theatre and show needed for IG photos. Only need myself and a connection.
- Time to take up hobbies and crafts I have previously not either made time for or made a priority: knitting, sewing (specifically dressmaking) and of course getting all up in my kitchen cooking up all sorts of concoctions (and disasters but least said about those the better…) The kitchen is my happy place.
- Time and space to unblock my creative and emotional issues, get clarity, figure out what and who is/are important. Witnessing the personal transformation pre and post Dark Night of the Soul.
- Kinesiology. A friend received the gift of redundancy and a career change = gift for me! Such an amazing treatment and insight into the roots of my physical and mental health and wellbeing.
- With the lack of summer holidays that people were able to go on, those saved pennies appears to have been reinvested in Christmas lights and decorations for gardens. I LOVE driving through the villages and town local to me and seeing all their festival finery. It’s pure magic. Thank you to each and very household for gifting the beauty of spirit lifting lights to all who see your homes.
- There are more, teeny moments, special moments and actualisations but they will remain private.
The gifts are not without sacrifices. 2020 has completely changed my business, home made and crafted Christmas presents are beautiful but also purse friendly. I’ve not been able to see my sister or play with my nephews in months and miss them terribly, this will be the first Christmas period we’ve not spent time together. However I won’t dawdle on the hardships and challenges but choose instead to concentrate my valuable energy and enthusiasm for what brings joy and the least amount of stress during these next couple of weeks.
As for the Gift of What’s to Come, your guess is as good as mine, but I’m in no hurry to meet that Gift just yet.
What Gifts have you received?
With blessings and deepest gratitude.