Deep in the womb of winter; this is where I find myself.
January, with its icy, howling wind blowing in a damp, raw air that chills me to the bone. The dark, heavy skies give an ominous air that draws me to surrender to its presence, while patiently I wait for snow. For when it snows, the air is milder, the energy lighter and the noise is muffled under the Cailleach’s cloak in a metaphorical coziness that invites both childlike fun outdoors and coorying in indoors.
In these dark days and weeks of winter, I relish the time to just be. I don’t bounce straight into New Year New Me; that’s just not my style. Instead, I light more candles and embrace the slow pace, the space and the very deliberate lack of routine, for as long as I can. A big fat pause on life to properly rest and reset. This year, more so than ever before, I feel the need to withdraw and sit in the stillness by myself. And for once, I’m listening and paying attention. I want no company, no distraction ( I see you and hear you social media and you know exactly how to draw me in! You are my WIP!), to be able to eat, sleep and walk in the woods as I please, no timescales, no expectation, just my simple rituals, pencil and fire (and soup!!). But of course, I live in the real 21st century world with a family, home and business, so while I can dream of this existence, the reality is more the taking of little bits of it at a time and make the ideal come true in the inbetween spaces of everyday living. Baby steps.
This is my time for planning and dreaming. My head is burlin’ with ideas and wants and desires for the coming year but none of them are yet in action or even anything other than a list on paper or swimming in my imagination. I have not the energy nor the strength to even attempt to put into action currently. Perish the thought!
We are approaching the first full moon of 2020 (7.21pm GMT Friday 10th January), also known as the Wolf Moon, Snow Moon, Cold Moon or Birch Moon, alongside the lunar eclipse. The energy is rising as the moon waxes to her full size and strength, yet for me, my cycle is in direct contrast. My energy is waning and am drawing inwards towards my dark moon phase, my inner winter. My mood and my energy perfectly in sync with the season and myself, with where I need to be.
How are you feeling this winter?